


Tamed Madness

by ShadowPool



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-26 23:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9933218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowPool/pseuds/ShadowPool
Summary: How the most dangerous criminal mastermind became a nervous wreak of a parent.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt (From FallingIvy on her Tumblr page): Okay, I want a superhero story in which the superhero is one of those ‘normal kid gets superpowers through freak accident’ and goes out and fights crime, and of course runs into the supervillain at some point and tries to take them down. And the villain, a couple minutes into the fight, realizes they’re fighting a literal child and just has an internal freak-out about this new development. Because, fine, I’ve got plans to steal all of the world’s largest gems and I’m generally not a nice person, but holy fuck there’s a kid coming at me. This is a kid. I can’t with this.  
> So the supervillain instead of trying to kill/hurt their nemesis goes through all these complicated plans to trap them or put them to sleep or stick them in a large tank or something so they can go ahead with it. Sometimes it works and the supervillain spends a harried half hour lecturing the superhero about maybe going to school and being safe instead of doing this, that would be nice.  
> The supervillain staying up at night occasionally wondering if the tiny superhero is out there trying to get themselves killed right this moment. The supervillain sending supervillain henchmen ninjas out to tail the superhero and help out if it ever looks like the superhero is going to get killed. The supervillain takes to pacing around and muttering to themselves occasionally about PARENTING and RESPONSIBILITY and how they never signed up for this shit. Actually petitioning their version of the Justice League to have someone step in and do something about this, that kid has to be like twelve and what is everyone thinking???? Bonus points if the kid has no parents and the villain finds this out and spends a night internally screaming about it.  
> Basically I want a supervillain unwittingly becomes the super worried parent of the kid who is actively trying to foil their every plan and topple their evil regime.
> 
> Basically I wanted to read a story like this but couldn't find one so I just made one. This is my first attempt writing a fanfiction so if I made a mistake please correct me. Thank You

_“Where is he? When is he going to get here? Did he get hurt? **I’ll kill them if they touched him. WHERE IS H-“**_ SLAM

“Joker,” a gruff voice states.

“BATSY! Your late to the party, I was starting to wonder if your parents grounded you. Did they Bats?”

_The white pearls fell into the pools of blood beginning to form from the still cooling bodies. “Mom? Dad? Why? Why? Aren’t you going to kill me too?” The gun drops as a male figure runs off._

“What are you planning Joker?”

“Are you really just going to leave me hanging?” The Joker pouts, “Fine then, I still won’t answer your question either, unless of course this will be your last night crusading through the streets Bats. Oh the infamous Batglare I see, but really you ought to smile more. After all aren’t you like 10 or something?”

“…” _I’m not 10, I’m 14. I’m not that tiny am I?_  

* * *

_A few month ago…_

A white chalky face with sunken eyes and a chilling smile laughs manically, bouncing with excitement. His plan to draw out the Bat would finally work. “The famed Dark Knight of Gotham, _HAHAHAHAHA,_ he’ll come and play now.” He had killed an imposter earlier and sent the tape to a news station. “He’ll see and HE **WILL** COME, he can’t possibly ignore me now.”

“Umm, Boss” A man warily calls out,

“ **WHAT** ”

“We’re done setting up the bomb and the poison for the Judge and Commissioner. We just need to go crash Wayne’s fundraiser for Dent. “

“Hmm the golden boy, where are the rest of the recruits?”

“You killed them all earlier. Just me and Joe left” As Joe enters and waves warily at them. BANG!

“Joe was it? Clean up that mess and find me some other recruits.” The Joker calmly orders before he burst out laughing again.

* * *

“Alfred?”

“Yes Master Bruce.”

“Is Harvey coming tonight?”

“Of course he is, sir.”

“With his girlfriend?”

“Yes he is, sir.”

“Good. “

“Master Wayne, while it’s good that you’re socializing with others, I wouldn’t recommend embarrassing him in front of Miss. Dawes”

“I won’t, I’ll just show him why she isn’t good enough for him.”

“Of course, sir”

“Now won’t you help me set up the banana peels, I want to see if that actually works.”

“With pleasure, sir”

* * *

_At the party_

“It’s a shame that-“

“Poor thing, p-“

“-him. Enough of that-”

“-guest of honor is here.”

“Now I've seen it all: Harvey Dent, scourge of the underworld, scared stiff by the trust fund brigade.” a brunette jokes at her tall handsome boyfriend before she spots something and walks off leaving him by himself.

“A bit of liquid courage, Mr. Dent?” inquired Alfred appearing out of nowhere.

“Oh, um, thank you.” _“I wonder if he’s Batman or something? No, Stop, Don’t go down that rabbit hole-but he could-Stop.”_ “Alfred, you surprised me, I heard Bruce is here somewhere.”

“Oh, yes he is, sir”

“Anything I should worry about?”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Alfred replies before walking away.

Slam. Harvey looks down to see Bruce Wayne staring intensely into his eyes before he nods and smiles before running off again. As Rachel walks up to Harvey she asks  ”What was that?”

“Don’t ask-did he bother you?”

“Yes, he asked me to follow him and led me through a banana peel hallway before running off to you.”

“I’ll talk to him.” He smiled as he started to walk off.

* * *

_In the corner of the room by the doors_

“Alfred, I approve”

“Very good, sir” Alfred stated, “However, I must warn you that The Jokers been spotted heading this way.”

“Alright then-Uh oh, Harvey’s coming, stall for me” Bruce squeaked before he ran away.

“Alfred, where’s Bruce?”

 “Not to be rude but why are you looking for Master Bruce?” inquired Alfred.

“I wanted to ask hi-“

DING! The elevator door opens as everyone looks over, a police officer with his badge held up is seen before he’s shoved forward, revealing The Joker, “Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we” motioning towards his henchmen “are tonight’s entertainment. Oh but I do have just one question though, WHERE IS HARVEY DENT?” _”Or in other words-batbait.”_

* * *

“Right this way, sir” Alfred whispered as he led Harvey out into the hallway.

“But Alfred- I can’t-“

“Hush, you’re the last one who can stand up against the criminals of Gotham. If you die the city will lose their hope-What will happen to Master Bruce? When his parents were killed down in crime alley you were one of the only things that kept him together.”

“Alfred I-I understand.”

* * *

“I'll settle for his loved ones...” The Joker drawls lazily as he walks through the crowd.

“We're not intimidated by thugs.” An older male interjected.

“You know, you remind me of my father.” He smiled, “I hated my father.” He sneered out while shoving a knife towards the older man’s mouth.

“Okay, Stop!” Rachel declared. The Joker pushed the man away before turning to her.

“Why, hello there beautiful. You must be Harvey's squeeze.” He giggled as he walked closer to her.” And you are beautiful.  You look nervous- is it the scars?” He nods at her, ” You wanna know how I got them?  I had a wife, beautiful like you.  Who tells me I worry too much. Who says I need to smile more. Who gambles. And gets in deep with the sharks. One day they carve her face, and we've got no money for surgeries. She can't take it.” He lifts the knife up towards Rachel’s face, “I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know I don't care about the scars.  So I put a razor in my mouth and do this to myself” He gestures towards his face”And you know what?” He laughs, “She can't stand the sight of me...” His smile drops a bit before coming back as bright as ever and continues, ”She leaves!  See, now I see the funny side.” He nods, “Now I'm always smiling.” The Joker presses the knife closer to her cheek before she punches him in the gut. “A little fight in you, I like that.”

“Then you’re going to love me” SLAM! The Joker jerks before he turns to see a teenager dressed as Batman. _“What the FUCK! Who the hell is this kid? And isn’t past his bedtime? He must have some god awful parents.”_

The teen wobbles a bit before he looks up to face The Joker, returning back into fighting stance.

“Do you have a death wish kid? Shoo.” The Joker waves off, turning back around to go back to threating guests. “Where was I? Oh yeah-my wife. Hmm she uh left me and I’m always smiling-“

POW! SLAM! CRASH!

“Really kid, stop interrupting me, and where’s Joe?”

“Umm I’m over here.” BANG!

”That’s for hiring henchwimps. Now kid, go away.”

“Let her go.”

“Kid, this is your final warning, go away or-“POW! The Joker hits the ground before laughing out, “Kid you sure pack a punch, so what happened earlier? You trip over your cape or something? Oh ohh you did didn’t you? ”

“Joker, you’re going to jail-“

“No I’m not. Whose taking me? You? Don’t make me laugh-oh wait, you already did. Look kid, the only one who is taking me to jail is ‘The Batman’ this city’s been talking about and it sure to hell isn’t you.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“You’re kidding me. Right? You’re the bat? Why this is the best joke I’ve seen in ages. Now where’s fate-I need to shoot her. Like really bad right now. And What the FUCK! Who the hell decided this shit? Isn’t this way past your bedtime? You must have some god awful parents, kid. Don’t glare at me!”

WHEE-WOO WHEE-WOO WHEE-WOO

“Oh shit the cops, I don’t have time for this crap” The Joker yells out before shooting out the window and jumping out into the waiting helicopter.

* * *

 _“What the HELL just happened?”_ Was the collective thought before every on turned to Batman.

“…”

“…”

“…” He proceeded to then jump out of the window as well and disappeared in classical Batman fashion, just as the police bursted into the room.

“Freeze!”

“Hands Up!”

“Don’t move!” The police shouted out towards the downed criminals as they surrounded them.

**Author's Note:**

> Rachel and Harvey are older than Bruce  
> • They are in their late 20’s  
> • Bruce is 14  
> o Parents killed at age 6, 7, or 8  
> Harvey was Bruce’s babysitter  
> Harvey is Bruce’s older brother figure  
> Bruce acts like an annoying younger brother


End file.
